What I Learned From My First Yoga Class

So, I've wined and complained about how my gym canceled my Thursday night Step Class and replaced it with a Yoga class. Tonight was the first night of Yoga and I thought...why the hell not? The following is a list of items that I learned from my very first experience with yoga (OK, so I have a yoga DVD that I've tried, but never a class).

Things I Learned From My First Yoga Class:

1. Thank God the lights were out and no one could see me.
2. Because the lights were out, it was hard to see what the instructor was doing.
3. The instructor should not assume that everyone knows what a child's pose is.
4. How the F can you balance your entire body straight up in the air, while on your shoulders? I can't even get my ass off the ground.
5. I can't breathe in over a 5 second count. My lungs fill up before the instructor hit 2.
6. Ditto for breathing out for 5 seconds.
7. I must see the doctor about a possible episode of Vertigo because I kept falling over.
8. You actually get to take off your shoes to exercise.
9. Shaking is not a sign of strength
10. I am definitely, certainly, absolutely, positively NOT flexible. In fact, I am the exact OPPOSITE of being flexible.
11. What exactly is a downward-facing-dog-looking-to-the-earth-while-a-blue-full-moon-shines-brightly-into-a-glimmering-pool-and-eating-pancakes-while-pigs-fly? Who comes up with these position names?
12. Apparently stimulating my pituitary gland is a form of relaxation.
13. The last 10 minutes focused on relaxation techniques - who knew that taking a nap was exercise?
14. Is it a bad sign that class has been over for less than 2 hours and I'm already sore?
15. I miss my Step Class.

My first impression? Yoga's kind of boring. Sorry Yoga fans (Yogaites?, Yogi's?), but I don't really think it's for me. However, I will say that I like how relaxed I feel! It's rather unexpected. My neck isn't so tight, my shoulders aren't as tense, and my muscles feel nice and stretched. Although I didn't like the activity, I do like the after effects....even after only one class. Because of this reason, I might try it again next week.

As most of you know, my migraines are mostly caused from the build up of tension in my shoulders and neck. When it gets too tense, it pulls on my trigger point and causes a migraine. I went to acupuncture and discovered that this was the case. Because it got too expensive, I try to get massages now and again (although not NEARLY enough) to keep the tension down. Maybe this would be yet another way to keep my tension low. I'd be willing to sacrifice one hour, one night a week to do so.

If only I would have enjoyed it more. Maybe if I kept going and got more flexible, I might like it more. Oh, and maybe not feel so much like a big, fat, lazy lump. Yeah, that too.